Is That Chocolate On My Burp Cloth?

This past Friday was Valentines day. It was the first time since my husband and I have been together that we didn't go out so we could stay home with the baby. We got take out and it was awesome. One thing you may start to gather about me is that I LOVE FOOD. I don't say this lightly, I really LOVE it, especially treats! :) Of course I got Valentines chocolates from my husband and I got M&M's from my Aunt. HAPPY DAY! :) So all day I munched on my chocolates and M&M's. By the evening my candy was almost gone. I was caught up in a sappy movie on TV when my husband came and joined the baby and I on the couch. As he took Carter out of my arms he pointed out a brown streak down his back. I detached from my movie to look at it and decided it wasn't as interesting as my movie because Adam would change him and that would be that. My husband was quiet for a moment and then started laughing. I turn away from my movie again to see what was so funny. He said its not poop it's chocolate. :) I didn't know whether to laugh or be embarrassed. See this wasn't my first offense with chocolate masquerading as poop... There was a hot fudge incident.. I was eating a brownie sundae when I spilled hot fudge.. I didn't know until the next day that I got it on one of our burp cloths.. There may have been licking involved to make sure..  Prior to parenthood I could hide my affair with treats.. but now I must share my shameful ways with the world... or maybe just my husband.

Puke or Gel?

This morning I got up before Carter to try and complete a few tasks ( like throw dinner in the crockpot, eat breakfast, and shower) before he woke up. I got dinner in, ate breakfast and was about to get ready to shower when I heard my son grunting ( yes, he grunts bc he really hates waking up) in the next room. I go in and see he is awake and not happy about it. I realize my shower isn’t going to happen until later... if even that. We make our way to the couch so I can feed him. I guess maybe he didn’t like his breakfast today because he gave it back to me.. Literally in my hair down my shirt in my arm pit ***cringe*** ***I HATE arm pits*** and on my pants. I love that I didn’t care that it was all over the child .. his face clothes and hair EVERYWHERE ...but that my thoughts were “ I wonder if I’ll need to use gel today.”
I am not even ashamed to admit that. Rest assured though I am going to shower, it smells weird..but if it didn’t it just looks like hair gel. 

Photo Failure

** No babies were harmed in the making of this post

As a DSLR owner I couldn’t wait to have Carter to take endless pictures.. I wanted to have cute poses and have people stare in awe at MY artwork MY pictures and MY baby. I remember being really out of it ( I was on a large dose high blood pressure meds that made me super foggy ) about a week after he was born but thinking I needed to try and get that amazing set of new born pictures. I hobbled down the hallway to our linen closet and got an off white sheet and hobbled back to the living room where I draped our couch with my “backdrop”. I grabbed some neat looking books and stacked them perfectly so that I could rest Carter on them.   I then wrapped Carter in a scarf. At this point my husband was looking at me like a was a nut case. I took the baby and placed him gently on the pile of books, before I let go I realized it wasn’t going to work... I kept trying to steady him and he kept flopping, and then screaming. I was very surprised... people get amazing shots of infants all the time ...surely I was talented enough to pull it off... After a few minutes of trying I was pooped ( again I mention meds) and discouraged. Apparently its harder than it looks to get those adorable newborn shots... So to anyone who is going to try .. newborns are floppy and don’t look at the camera and no matter how cute your baby is they will NOT look cute in the pictures you try and take. At least thats how it went for me... I got one ok shot just one... Here are a few of my flops..

And actually I have two OK ones that of course my husband was able to get him to calm down ( maybe because he didn't set him on books).. 

Notice there aren't any books... yeah they weren't working.. oh well.. That's all I have to say.

Until next time..

Mother Knows Best...Wait, What?!

I’ve always heard the saying “Mother knows best,” in movies and in real life. I never questioned the statement before ( teen years not included) until now. I have never done this whole parenting thing which is fine because every parent has a first time and most people survive it, but do I really know whats best? I play a recap (in my mind) of my daily routine (yeah, we shall call it a routine) and realize some people may be horrified.. Most new moms are soothing and will be quite and gentle to get their infant to relax and sleep. I am not that new mom. Often Carter has one part of the day where he does this “fake” cry.. The first time it happened I didn’t notice but my amazing husband ( he really is amazing) pointed it out and it opened a whole new door for me. The next day during this “fake” cry instead of trying sooth him I copied his cry with the same volume and inflection. There I was with my infant having a screaming/cry match face to face ( must have looked amazing) and I realized that he was stopping.. Neat. I can be loud and sooth him. Now when this “fake” cry arises I don’t hesitate I pick up the child and put his face near mine and make a lot of noise. Knowing what is best may be a stretch for me BUT I apparently I know what works for the my child. So no worries if you swing by and hear screaming.. we are fine,  we are just on our way to relaxation..

The Day I Realized I Had Wipes..

WARNING: If you are a mom and have had no sleep you may want to prepare yourself not to hate me because in this post I will mention how much sleep the child lets me get...

I have been a little absent minded these past few days doing stupid things like spelling my last name wrong (not just once but SIX different times) and other things like that... I wish I could blame it on lack of sleep but I can’t Carter sleeps through the night every night now with the shortest span being 7hrs and a lot of days goes he longer soo I cant really complain..  But he always seems to be needing something just when I sit down to eat (welcome to motherhood right?) I often try and think of ways to try and outsmart him so that I can eat... WELL today I went grocery shopping in 4 degree weather  yup just 4.. by the time I was done I was STARVING ok technically I wasn’t starving because I am not a victim of starvation but any who I was hungry and child was sleeping . I wanted to defeat him and eat my lunch in peace and then I remembered I had three dollars cash monies ( cash is important bc it doesn’t count when I spend it) with that thought I switched lanes to turn into a Taco Bell ( no shame!)  I got my little lunch and laughed to myself bc I was going to eat and he was going to sleep..WIN :)  I used to think I would have to use the carseat in the middle of the night ( SO GRATEFUL that I don’t) but the middle of the day would be great for this little lunchtime selfishness ..SO I start eating my lunch and it starts leaking sauce all over me I sigh and think well at least in the drive through they give you napkins.. Yeah NO. I searched the entire bag and found no napkin! As sauce runs down my jacket and my front seat I try not to be angry bc this was supposed to be my baby-free happy lunch .. THEN I see the diaper bag and smiled because I remembered... I have wipes! :) I relaxed and took out the wipes and wiped off my taco bell evidence while the child slept. Operation peaceful lunch was *mostly* a success..

Pee pee, Poo poo, and Milk

So you know those moms that look beautiful  with their hair done and have on nice fashionable outfits? I now feel the need to yell “FALSE ADVERTISING” when I see them. I seriously mean it. I can at least  keep the child looking nice but dang it that isn’t easy and leaves me no time for me. He spits up on himself and somehow manages to poop and pee out of his diaper  usually when I am trying to leave the house. When he does that it also gets on me.. At first I would change my clothes and wash my skin off. Now its different, I don’t have enough clothes to cover all these bodily excretions. To top that off if its not just Carter’s fluids, its mine. Two words: boob juice.  Even with pads I still manage to get it on me.. Sigh. I wonder if I should yell at those “perfect moms” for wearing those cute outfits that no one could possibly nurse in. Who am I kidding? If it weren’t for those women there would be no hope for looking nice ever... They inspire me to not give up on trying to put makeup on and to at least wipe the poop off my sleeve with a wipe. 

Bringing Home Baby

 Our time in the hospital was a little longer than expected because while in labor I developed pre-eclamsia and my blood pressure was misbehaving to put it gently. I am skipping my labor experience on here because it was bad lol we shall leave it at that. 

Right after our baby shower ( a month and ten days before Carter arrived) I couldn’t wait to put away his stuff! Nesting? NOPE. He just received so many gifts that it was hard to move in our apartment, I couldn’t stand the sight of all the cute clutter. I put everything away a little at a time so that it would at least be organized and organized in a way that I would have no trouble at all finding anything. Yeah, I was already rocking the mom thing. 
FALSE.

The night we brought Carter home he needed a diaper change. BLAH! I HAD NOTHING OPEN. So I have a screaming new born and I am wrestling with the stupid wrapper on the wipes and once I finally managed to get through the Fort Knox of plastic I realized I needed diapers that fit a new born and I couldn’t remember if I had any.. Thank God the hospital sent us home with some. After the traumatic diaper change I had to find something “safe” for my little guy to sleep in. It went something like “ uhhhhhhhh...........” It worked out. He slept and survived so I guess what ever he slept in that night worked. Next time ( if there is a next time) I will learn that stupid swaddle so that all I will need is a onesie and a blanket!